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 PIGEONS ATTACK TOURISTS IN TRAFALGAR SQUARE LONDON: Tourists in Trafalgar Square in London were horrified when a cloud of pigeons descended upon them. The Pigeon Resistance was there to help, however, and a team of four members on a routine patrol were called in to disrupt the pigeon assault, protect and, once the danger was abated, counsel the victims. In one of the most brazen attacks yet, an estimated 12,000 pigeons took to the air at the same time, gathered themselves, and swarmed down onto terrified members of the public passing through the square. Activity like this is on the increase, and it is the belief of the Pigeon Resistance that the pigeon hive mind is co-ordinating simultaneous assaults in cities across the world. Tentative reports suggest that artists displaying their work in San Francisco's Union Square were set upon by a flock of pigeons at almost exactly the same time as the incident in Trafalgar Square took place. The Pigeon Resistance squad who were on hand to clear away the menacing birds with rakes and practised Pigeon Resistance control techniques have been commended for their excellent work. An American tourist believed to have been captured by the hive mind, Kelly Ames, is currently undergoing a free course of the Pigeon Resistance's HypnoRestorationTM therapy to release her from limbo. |
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